![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWZufnL_eWAlzls3ec9lubi8ee5b1TYkqnQmR0OLugHI-36uloAwJ-iuoAfXCMcl3JB3rxqcfv7zRPlmbjxx99J84kQGY5Z7NkZsJPIoBhnXlLyhvqn1ZBo6XpEHhR5kpR5Ip8QQ/s320/Heath-Ledger.jpg)
I remember Heath Ledger’s death. I learned about it at work in San Francisco when I was working for the government. That was probably 2007. He was an incredible actor, and he was probably around my age. It was strange to think of him dying. It felt like I had been robbed of seeing more of him. It was sad. It was also interesting because when I went to tell one of my coworkers she told me she’d already learned that “like an hour ago.” It was odd at the time to think of the competition she felt about who learned news the fastest. This is now a daily occurrence.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhznonC8fxFCeMVcPEKgGkrJ71KJHbqDn4o_X-HOSV-8WSif9_JQluiO10xpd8HKa5juSZna1LWfk9un72-JfCXFivusxgac9jfEaKCUKY2KkXaW4bR3VAjDZUsCNZvsZEznsxGtg/s320/vonnegut1.jpg)
Kurt Vonnegut died around the same time -- I’m going to guess also in 2007 -- while I was working in San Francisco. When we heard, we started talking about his books, and I even went and bought a copy of Welcome to the Monkey House at a shop on Van Ness. I remembered reading Breakfast of Champions in high school and thinking for the first time: “Wow this guy is saying some things I’ve never heard before. Critical, yet informed things about America. Cool.” It made me sad to know that he had died, but he was old, and he seemed to want to go. He kept mentioning the disastrous state of the world and saying that humans were no good for the earth. So maybe it was a plus for him.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh55hqjKUIK_wvns-W7HSGPIrDM0blVJaZsEpc8DtUCEGCWcdsXxwncCC3J1me6dCoWpoOEd-vTbv6uXjMEdK7wiBju1la-VSLtom4D_1vVA1AZyS-GWYgh20YpHch11jAoDsq8YA/s320/Loureed.jpg)
Finally just yesterday Lou Reed died. I've spent a lot of time in my life listening to the music of the Velvet Underground. I can probably sing every word to all four of their albums except for “The Murder Mystery” from White Light/White Heat. I have learned and sung many songs by them over the years: “Candy Says,” “Pale Blue Eyes,” “Jesus,” “Who Loves the Sun,” “I’m Waiting for the Man,” and others. Some of his solo stuff is also amazing. I swear, I even enjoy Metal Machine Music in the background. I don’t really care if it was a joke. But Lou Reed has been mostly irrelevant for years so I am not sure how sad I really am.
Reed and Vonnegut weren’t producing much of interest anymore, but they meant a lot to me over the years. Ledger was a wonderful actor who was just starting out. Maybe some day I’ll understand why it is certain deaths mean more to me than others. Maybe I’ll understand my reaction to these deaths and my reaction to deaths of people close to me. Right now though I am lucky as I don’t have much experience. I’m sure I will learn more in the future, and that is something that's bittersweet. It'll make me cherish the times I live, the music I’ve grown up with, and the friends I’ve made all the more. Without death I probably wouldn’t care much about now. Cliched but true.