FUCKING FUCKING FUCK!

I'm sick and tired of my strange mental tendencies. I used to have all these discussions with Caitlin about how I thought sex was really dirty and nasty (even though I really really wanted it). Then, I thought I got over it. I spent the night with this girl a couple of months ago, and felt disgusting about it the next day, but I thought it was because I was really drunk and didn't like her, and was just trying to "get off." But here I like a girl, and SHIT! it arises AGAIN!!!!! What the fuck am I supposed to do, when I can't do anything more than kiss a girl without thinking that she's easy, slutty and dirty. I'm exaggerating for effect, but jesus christ. I don't know. Today, I couldn't even look at her..... and we didn't have sex. Christ!!!!!!! Caitlin, call me.