Dutch

So, I had a date last night. I met her at about 6.15 at Ostkreuz, and we took the train to Landsberger Allee and then took the Straßenbahn. We went back to my place and had some wine, and Nikki chilled for awhile in her room alone and then came out and had a glas of wine with us, then went back and shut the door. She was very good about it. Manon then helped me prepare dinner, which wasn't great, but she went back for seconds, so hey, guess that's a good sign. We finished the wine and the food, and then Nikki came in and she said she'd finished her paper, and then went to this party. Manon brought up this American diner at Hackescher Markt, and I told her I'd been there, and she said, oh cool I want to go. I told her, OK, what about this week? She told me ok, but didn't seem too excited, oh well I thought, I'll let her bring it up again. Then, I showed her some pictures, she showed me some, I played her some songs on my guitar, she liked them, but they were sort of weird to her, I think. Too jittery and weird, but she was definitely interested. Then, we talked about James Joyce, because I had bought her Dubliners for her birthday. Then, at about 11 we went to the English Pub, and I of course had a black velvet cider, and she a Budweiser (from the Czech Republic, not the same crap Anheuser Busch beer, much better. Hollie (the guy bartender) asked me if Manon was my girlfriend now, now that Nikki and I have split, and while I was in the bathroom, Simone (one of the girl bartenders) asked Manon a lot of questions, because Simone was probably trippin about where Nikki was, and who this random new girl was. We talked, and I learned some interesting things about her, like her sister's age (18) and name (Roxanne) (now, I won't forget) and then she said she wanted to catch the Straßenbahn home. When the bill came, I said "I'll pay Manon, I invited you." Simone didn't even ask if we wanted to pay together or not, she just gave me the bill. As we were walking out, Manon brought up the american diner (woohoo) and I suggested, due to the Weinerei night on Wednesday and her class til 8 and maybe 9 on Thursday, that we go out on Tuesday. She said, OK, but she'd have to make sure. Then, she told me that she had a really nice time, and thanks for the food, and gave me an awkward hug, which I felt was awkward because I wanted something else, maybe she too?

The girl is very strange, incredibly strong in her political beliefs. 22 years old, poli sci major, almost perfect English, studied in Pennsylvania for a year, dad's a philosophy professor, mom's a member of the governing council for her home town. Manon likes to read recent books, and reads about 4 books a week. Mostly in German, she reads modern Berliner literature mostly and randomly picks books at the library. She is going to get Notes from the Underground by Dostoyevsky, and Of Mice and Men or Cannery Row from Steinbeck, because I tried convincing her that classics are not bad by default. The girl's very intriguing, very mysterious, incredibly nice, seemingly fairly shy, intelligent and also real pretty.

Also, Nikki told me this morning that in the past week and a half or so, she's felt that I've been treating her like shit, as if she is disgusting, and I'm better than she. I think I have been. I think she eats unhealthily and smokes too much and doesn't really care about much, and she bothers me. But all the same, I love her, and it's really hard to think that I might be hurting her with the way I've been treating her. I hope that I can pursue Manon (and more?) but darüber hinaus I want to make sure Nikki is ok. She is right now, next to myself, my top relationship priority. Nikki is amaying.