Monday, March 04, 2002

WHY?

So, why do we feel that we have to go to school? Why am I in school? To learn? I guess I learn a little bit. To learn to live? I don't know, this is just sooooooo difficult. I wish whatever happened, or I did to make myself lack self-esteem in every way could be altered.... well not really, cuz that's who I am........ I wish I could complain about relationships on this thing............ I'm basically done with 50% of my class on Marxism, but that doesn't matter. I enjoy understanding Marx, but does that really help ME? Does it help anyone? Does anyone care? Should I just give up? Should I be happy? Is my optimism a facade? Is my love for everything artistic a facade? Is physics a facade? Is the idea in quantum physics that molecules exist at more than one place at the same time valid? Does this really make this whole world a strange abstraction? Does Taoism therefore hold up as fact? Am I only writing this to appear intelligent? or philosophical? What's the point? Happiness? Knowledge? Oneness with "God"? Is this whole world completely fucked and full of shit? Are all these societal conventions just bullshit? WHY CAN'T LIFE BE EASIER, GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!!! I sure don't know any of the answers to these questions.

Current Mood: morose

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