rebellion?

I don't know whether my comment is real or whether it is purely a rebellious reaction to the posts of the others who keep livejournals, but ....... well let that stand as a disclaimer.

 I am no longer very sad in my life. I think the drugs took care of that. I just feel completely helpless. I have a direction that I want to head in. I feel superior to many others due to a feeling of sort of anti-superiority..... it's very paradoxical. i don't enjoy listening to people who stand behind slogans, or simplify their oppositions, and I try to complicate things whenever I catch myself simplifying. The current war-threat is a perfect example. I do suspect Bush of trying to line his pockets with (indirect) oil-money, and even if this is his only motive, it still seems very random to base ones views about an incredibly potent force in our lives on suppositions. I want to study semantics, the power of language in the hands of an agenda, and also Wittgenstein about how language is meaningless. I want to help the world, without polarity. I think there's too much of a focus on the personal individual--and how one can perfect, or effect an end--rather than on the societal individual--how one can process and work and push. I, of course, am not claiming to be free of any of the things which I critique here..... I'm just critiquing them..... Anyway, these are my thoughts for today. I'll hopefully fix some things from here and come up with some more tomorrow.

 Oh yeah, what was I getting at with my disclaimer? I think that I have a problem with depression. (HAHAHAHA, John is attacking depression, funny right?) I think what I mean is that depression, at least the way I experience/experienced it, is not a process but a termination. It's the assigment of a name, or a box to something that is dynamic. It's simplistic. It's resignation. I'm horribly guilty of it all the time. I just want to sort of announce that I have a theoy that it's nto the best way to go, cuz I always do have a choice, I always just take the easy way out. Anyway.......