wow

I just had an amazing phone conversation. Not much of interest was said, but just the implications and the tones were amazing. I think I'm changing (of course, like always), but this girl. THIS GIRL! Stupid jesus.

So, today was amazing. I went to work, went to the bank, I got my prescription filled, I packed and I ate my last dinner at home with my parents. Then, I went out with Julia and we sat in the park and I felt really safe. It was really cool. I'm gonna miss her and I just started to know her. Now, I'm with my best two friends of late. A bunch of my friends are gonna see me tomorrow. I'm excited, but I'm also sad. I feel like I'm leaving a lot more than what I left last summer. I'm gonna be in California for about 3 straight months, stating at about 8 p.m. tomorrow. What an AMAZING. Yeah. I don't know. It works into the shadow.

the crazy guy, the neurotic, the guru and the girl

So, today was amazing. I mended a very dear friendship, and I'm very glad that happened. Then, I packed a little bit and went to dinner with my parents. I was kind of a dick to them, but oh well, i've just gotta let it go. Then, I went through meeting the grandparents and family friends of another girl, and then we went out and just basically spoke our minds about everything, including the way we felt about each other. Then, we cuddled and talked for a long time. When I dropped her off (ooooooh, yay!) i kissed her hand. Then, I went to Daniel's and Caito drove my car to Josh's, where I saw an old "desire" and an old "smart guy". This is like crazy, two-day before i leave "sensory-overload". I'm really happy that today in general happened. "YAY!!!!!!!!!!" ("I really enjoy quotation marks") 

Sonic Youth is great./Two funny things

So, this is a great morning. I'm about to go get my bike from the shop and then get my phone fixed. Then I'm gonna meet Amanda and Ryan Williams for lunch. Then, I'm gonna come home and start packing. :( I'm gonna miss the people who have inhabited the outskirts of my world of late. I think that everything is going to be very strange in two days. TWO DAYS!!!!!!!! I can't believe it. I have about 53 or so more hours in the Phoenix area. I'm sad, but also very excited. Man, I'm gonna miss you Caitlin and Daniel..... I'm gonna miss you Amanda!!!!!!! Everyone should come visit me. Everyone will always have a spot on my couch, my floor, or my mattress. Please come and we'll all be together again. Man, I'm gettin all sentimental again.

So, I said some things that became wonderful jokes last night. One of them occurred when Jonothon came in with 5 (not 4 to match the four of us) but FIVE!!!!!!! otter pops, and I was just "poking" some fun at him and I asked him "WHY ARE THERE FIVE?" It seemed amusing at the time. I have since forgotten the other one. If the awake people from last night can remember it, let me know.

So, I think the world is great. Last night, I think I was finally able to curb my polarized thoughts of depression. I was sitting in Caitlin's (Victoria's, haha) bar and for no reason at all, I started to get really emotional, but then I recognized it and tried to convince myself that it was ridiculous. So, I feel wonderful about that. Also, I think I've decided in the last week or two that I really DO believe in the idea of love, because there are people that I just LOVE. I love them, and that's just it. Maybe it's physiological, in fact, it almost certainly is, but just cuz I can't totally explain it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Of course it might not, but it might. I love the idea of love. I love holding and being held. At the moment, I love life. I wanna work towards not letting myself fall into pointless sadness, when everything could be so happy. I'm so glad that whatever happened at the bar happened, because now I have some faith in myself. So yeah. I'm leaving in five days, and I'm gonna miss you Caitlin and Amanda. I'm gonna miss you Steven and Daniel. I'm gonna miss you Allison and Allison and Andy and Connor and Jonothon and Kendall and Emily and Stephanie and anyone else who didn't just pop into my head. This sure was an amazing summer.