PAXILL!!!!!!

Yay. I'm now taking paxill to stop my bouts of depression and sad apocalyptic thoughts. I'm also reading The Pearl by John Steinbeck. I think I'm done trying to read Nietzsche right now. One) He's depressing, because he's enigmatic and I'm not Superman. Two) I feel like a dumbass. Three) I like John Steinbeck. It's far more BEAUTIFUL (yes, Caito and Jonothon, beautiful), and simple, and grounded, and you know, sometimes I just don't give a fuck about trying to be all deep, cuz it's really just a bunch of bullshit, maybe. There's a wonderful truth to Steinbeck. I went into Marble Slab Creamery to try to hit on the girl at the counter (look at her and be sad about how she's cute and not with me), but her little tiny sister was there, and so I didn't. That was sort of crappy. Now, I don't know what's going on. I think I have to use the toilet, but I'm not sure, I just did that..... Ummm.... was just watching the Royal Tennenbaums, thought about how much I feel like the tennis player.... haha. Also, watched Amelie, and felt how much I didn't relate to the guy or Amelie, but wish I could "relate" to Amelie. There I go, getting stuck in movies again.

So, why is it that even when everything that should be stressful is gone, I'm still stressed. Like, I get work done with, and the drugs dealt with, and everything else, but then I still am all sad and worried? I wish someone could explain that to me.